It is really the only time in my life that I can remember really desiring to be in pain. Pain meant that I would be meeting this tiny thing in my belly. The face that I could never fully envision and imagine would be clear. Josh and I could finally start getting to know our son.
Now, as I sit in a dark room feeding Silas while a sound machine plays lullabys and reflects monkeys on the ceiling, I cannot believe that I am a mom and have been a mom for over six months!
It's weird--it feels like time has gone by so quickly and that he's grown so much, but it's only been six months! And I feel like I've know Silas forever. But again--only been six months. I guess we've just finally established a new normal.
It's now normal to hear a baby cry or laugh throughout the day in our home.
It's now normal to wake up multiple times a night to coax a baby back to sleep.
It's normal to not have time for TV but to have plenty of time to sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" or play peek-a-boo.
It's normal be constantly thinking of ways to baby proof our house or things I can do to help him learn.
It's normal to be tired and worn out but it's also normal to be so overwhelmed at how much I could love a tiny human or how much I could love watching josh love this little boy.
Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done, but it's worth all the sacrificed outings, sleeplessness, frustration, and confusion every time I see this little baby.
I'll take this new normal anyday.