Getting to the New Normal

Being full term with pregnancy is such a strange stage of life--especially when it's your first. You know life is going change at any moment; it will never be the same. Even if you're horrified of birth and all it's mysteries, you desire for it be here. Happening. 

It is really the only time in my life that I can remember really desiring to be in pain. Pain meant that I would be meeting this tiny thing in my belly. The face that I could never fully envision and imagine would be clear. Josh and I could finally start getting to know our son. 

Now, as I sit in a dark room feeding Silas while a sound machine plays lullabys and reflects monkeys on the ceiling, I cannot believe that I am a mom and have been a mom for over six months! 

It's weird--it feels like time has gone by so quickly and that he's grown so much, but it's only been six months! And I feel like I've know Silas forever. But again--only been six months. I guess we've just finally established a new normal. 

It's now normal to hear a baby cry or laugh throughout the day in our home. 

It's now normal to wake up multiple times a night to coax a baby back to sleep. 

It's normal to not have time for TV but to have plenty of time to sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" or play peek-a-boo. 

It's normal be constantly thinking of ways to baby proof our house or things I can do to help him learn. 

It's normal to be tired and worn out but it's also normal to be so overwhelmed at how much I could love a tiny human or how much I could love watching josh love this little boy. 

Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done, but it's worth all the sacrificed outings, sleeplessness, frustration, and confusion every time I see this little baby. 

I'll take this new normal anyday.